9-24-2007

The novel I completed last week titled “Home to Big Stone Gap” said that when mountain people die they are “taking a dirt nap”.   Now, I was raised a stone’s throw from there and I was not aware of that saying.    I must say, I prefer that expression more than any other I have heard.   Whenever I think of it though, I do chuckle a little.   Mom and Dad are buried in an above ground crypt.  I guess they would be taking a “tunnel nap”?  Jerilyn and I plan on being cremated.  I guess we would be taking a “hot nap”, or  a “nap in a jug”?  Maybe, an Urned nap?  Aw, shucks!  I could have all kinds of fun with this subject!

I was in the middle of my bike ride the other day and noticed a neighbor down the street was washing his van.   We had never met.   I knew him as the “Tax Man”.    He worked for the City of Poquoson and was responsible for assessing the value of all homes in the city.   Needless to say, he is disliked by everyone.   I swing my bike over to the curb and introduce myself and so does he.   I tell him that I will be retired 1 year on October 1^st.   He says he has been retired 3 years.  I ask him how he likes being retired and he says “Oh, fine, if only I could catch up on all the chores my wife has for me”.  “Bill”, says I, “I will let you in on a little known secret!   I allow my wife to give me 1 chore each day, it cannot last more than a couple of hours and Saturday & Sunday are excluded”.    He looked very thoughtful for a minute or so and I could see the wheels were turning in the back of his head.   “I dunno”, he says, “My wife might not go along with that”.   “Ok”, I say, “let me tell you how to do it.  First, put a lot of your stuff on your To-do list and make sure she is aware of what you are trying to get done.  Next, when she comes to you with things she wants done, pull out the ole list and let her watch while you ponder where you can work at least one of her chores in.   Now Bill, here is the most important thing you have to remember:  This is a weekly list, not a daily list.  Do not tell your wife this.  Take your time with the items on your list.   Soon, your wife will get used to only getting one of her daily items on your list and you will have most of the day to do what you want to do”.    I pedaled away smiling; knowing Bill would be struggling for weeks.  I will check back with him in several weeks to see if he has made any progress. 

I will be leaving on Tuesday, headed for western Tennessee.   I have volunteered to help my son move some of his stuff here so he can start his new job on October 1^st.  I will be traveling in our pickup truck, so the ride will not be as comfortable as our car.  Jerilyn will not be going with me, so the trip out will be a little lonesome.    It takes about 15-17 hours of driving time to get there.   I plan on driving halfway (Knoxville, TN) and spending the night.   I have a granddaughter (Christine) that lives there, so it will give me a chance to visit with her.  She is a delightful young lady, embarking upon a new career as a Message Therapist.   My youngest granddaughter (Chelsea) celebrates her 15^th birthday on the 30^th of this month.  Since we have to leave there on Saturday, September 29^th, I’m hoping we can celebrate before we leave.  Can I remember my 15^th birthday?  You betcha!   Back then, Virginia let you get your driver’s license at age 15.  I turned 15 on Saturday and took the driver’s test on Monday, passing of course.  All of a sudden, my community became a lot less safe.   If parents knew I was out with the car, they hurriedly gathered their children and took them inside.   I became a menace to society.   It is a blessing that they, and I, survived my recklessness.  I suspect that when I boarded the bus after high school graduation and headed off to the US Air Force, there was a collective sigh of relief in our town.     

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

08-21-2007

I have been reading a book given to me by my son, titled, “For One More Day” by Mitch Albom, author of “Tuesdays With Morrie”. In the book his mother died unexpectedly and 8 years later he gets to spend one more day with her. He makes the following statement on his third and final visit: “And I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.” I know that to be so. I am not so sure that others feel that way.

Our next door neighbor (John) had an old fridge that he was putting on the street for the city to pick up. He also had an old dishwasher and some other things that he wanted to get out of his shed. Jerilyn and I volunteered to dispose of them for him by taking them to a local metal recycler. By the time he got thru cleaning out his shed our truck was full. On our way down to run the Noland Trail, we stopped by the metal place and picked up a cool $15. I told John we would give him whatever we got, but he insisted that we keep it for hauling it away. It felt very good to be doing a good deed for our neighbor, keeping stuff out of the city dump and making money at the same time. We are very fortunate to be surrounded by good neighbors. I remember reading something to the effect that “you pick your friends and God picks your neighbors”. If things work out as they should, your neighbors become your friends.

Well the big boat that I have talked about in previous WOW’s has found a new home in Winston-Salem, NC. I was preparing to haul it back to the boat repair shop for yet another estimate on the cost of repairs and my cousin Jesse in W-S asked me what I wanted for it. I made him a deal he could not refuse, so the boat is waiting, patiently, for him and his son to arrive and tow it away. I must admit, a lot of good memories will go with it. My son and I spent many good hours, bonding and fishin’, on that vessel. I am contemplating getting another, smaller vessel, but that will depend on how much I use the little boat tied up at the dock. There is a lot of work to be done on the big boat. I wish Jesse & Nathan good luck on the repairs.

Back in 1957, Alice Roth was at the ball field in Philadelphia, watching the Phillies play the Giants. A batter for the Phillies, Richie Ashburn (center fielder), hit her with two fouled balls in the same at bat. The first broke her nose and play was stopped as she was administered to. When the game resumed, Ashburn fouled off the first pitch and the ball struck her again while she was being carried out on a stretcher. Alice’s experience leads us to believe that we have no idea what will happen to us when we roll out of bed each morning to begin our daily activities. With this in mind, the following quote from “Forward Day by Day” seems appropriate: “Try living one full day as though you have been given some secret knowledge that is will be your last……just approach whatever has been scheduled for the day as though these will be your last encounters with the people you see. The experience may yield some habits of mind worth keeping.” (thanks, Colbert King).

I ran across this the other day and found it an interesting observation:

“Sometimes we need to stop analyzing the past, stop planning the future, stop trying to figure out precisely how we feel. We need to stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel. Sometimes we just have to go with……whatever happens – happens”.

I recall this quote because we recently had a fellow church member die suddenly. Two Sundays ago, we met George and his wife Dolly (who is wheelchair bound) in the hallway after the early service. George always hugs Jerilyn and gives me a firm handshake and a big grin. Little did we know that would be our last encounter with him. He departed this earth at age 79, longer than most of us can expect to live, but not as long as we would have liked for him to stay. It is easy to question why The Lord does certain things and difficult to just accept his decisions. Sometimes, we have to go with whatever happens….. happens

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08-28-2007

Well, it’s done! The big boat is gone! My cousin Jesse and his family arrived Friday night to take the boat back to Winston-Salem, NC. We all got up early Saturday morning, went out to Hampton and ate breakfast with my uncle and his wife, then came home and prepared the boat and trailer for the trip to NC. We replaced the tires on the trailer because they suffered from “dry rot” due to long exposure to the sun. They departed around noon and about 45 minutes later I received a call from Jesse, telling me that one of the tires had failed. I loaded my hydraulic jack and jack stand in the back of the car and headed off to assist them. Three hours later they were on their way home and arrived safely in about 5 hours. The temp was around 99° and the head index was around 110-115°. For a while there, I was beginning to think we were in Bagdad, of course, minus the sand, the shooting and the roadside bombs. I’m sure the boat will enjoy it’s new home and all the love and attention it will get.

Monday (8/27) was Gladys’ (Jerilyn’s mother) 89^th birthday. I picked her up at 1:30pm and she spent several hours with us going thru the gifts that her children bought and all the cards she received from family & friends congratulating her on achieving the wonderful age of 89. Not many people live that long. I hope she knows how blessed she has been. She is not as spry as she was a couple of years ago, but, she still does ok. She is still in the “Independent Section” of her retirement community. I am guessing that she will be in the “Assisted Living” section within a couple of years. She still struggles from losing “Pop” in 2001. It is easily understood that 65 years of marriage would create a large void when your life’s mate leaves you and transitions to the other side.

Jerilyn’s oldest grandson (Christopher) stayed with us Friday & Saturday night. He is 17 and his life is just starting to unfold. It is refreshing to spend time with someone that young. He seems to be so well grounded. He works as a lifeguard at Water Country USA (Bush Gardens) and, I would assume, that is a great job for a 17 year old to have. His plans are to attend Virginia Tech next year. Since parents always get the blame when their kids screw up, they should also get the credit when their kids turnout well. Congratulations, Dean & Kathy!

I was watching a movie the other night and the lead character made a statement that caught my attention. “Family”, says he, “is a group of people that share the same memories.” He was referring to, of course, his immediate family. I think that could be expanded to include childhood friends, high school & college friends, and much more. We have, I believe, many types of families; some closer than others, but none the less, family. This diverse mixture of many families in our life is what creates the texture of our existence. If we are missing this complex mixture of “shared memories’, our life lacks the punch that makes each day exciting. If we experience nothing worth remembering, then necessarily, our lives are boring and unexciting. All of you that received this weekly missive have added value and content to my life; as such, you all are part of “My Family”. I am so blessed!

Jerilyn’s son Dean and his family went to the Little League World Series this past weekend and had a wonderful time. Her daughter-in-law, Rachel, is traveling across Europe with a friend and having an equally good time. Life is good!

We will be leaving to visit my son and his family in Tennessee on Thursday. It has been a year since our last visit and I am very excited about seeing them again. In the paragraph above I talked about family, well folks, this is serious family. The memories I share with these people go back to their first day on earth. How can a visit be more enjoyable than spending time with someone so close to you.

09-05-2007

Well, this has been an interesting week. Our original plan to visit my son and his family in Tennessee was changed. Instead, we visited Jerilyn’s brother Wayne & wife Marion in Armonk, NY (about 1 hours from NYC). Wayne’s health is not very good. He has dialysis 3 times weekly and does an admirable job of dealing with his health issues. After spending a couple of days with him, we left for Lancaster, PA to visit the Amish people.

At this point I need to tell you that I now know way too much about the Amish. We paid to watch a film about a young Amish boy named Jacob, afterward we toured a typical Amish home and then we paid for a two hour Amish buggy ride (with an older Amish guide named John). So, by the end of day 2 of our Amish Experience, I was sick and tired of all things pertaining to those fine people. Day 3 found us hitting all the antique malls in the area and Jerilyn enjoying every delicious minute. I don’t think I know anyone else that enjoys looking at old stuff more than she does. Mostly, I set in the car listening to audio books or doing something on my laptop. As a matter of fact this WOW was prepared on my laptop.

I took Jerilyn to a live show at the American Music Theatre in Lancaster Tuesday night. The production was titled: Broadways Best. It was a very good show with many talented people and included songs from top Broadway shows from 1938 until the present. It was the day after Labor Day and the audience was small. That did not deter the cast from giving us a good performance. Whenever I take Jerilyn to a show at night, after a long busy day, she always has trouble staying awake during the performance. Now, she has this down to a science. At any point during the show that requires the audience to applaud, she suddenly wakes up and claps as if she witnessed the entire performance. Then, within a few minutes she is struggling to stay awake. I would say, on average, she sees about 80% of any performance. I do not have a problem with that. If she’s happy then I’m happy. I imagine that she could tell you a thing or two about me that would create a broad grin on your face.

I have a wonderful electronic device I use whenever we take trips. It is a GPS navigation device made by Garmon (Nuvi 360) and affectionately referred to by us as Nuvi. Wherever we want to go, let’s use Cackleberry Antique Mall for an example, I just type in the name, it does a search and then authoritatively guides us there. She gave me a list of three places she wanted to visit, I typed them in one at a time, let Nuvi locate each and then saved them with an appropriate name. From that point on, life got real simple. No more pouring over maps and getting lost. That small device cost me $500. If I had to sell it and was not allowed to purchase another one, it would take a lot of money to pry that puppy from my tenacious grip. Oh, we get a lot of entertainment out of making fun of the way it gets us to our destination. It is not smart, but it always gets us where we want to go. One of the really cool features it has is estimating when you will arrive at your destination (based on your speed). It is amazingly good at doing that. It will adjust your arrival time as you make stops to eat, etc. It also will tell you your exact speed so you can adjust it and avoid speeding tickets. I was setting my speedometer at 72 in a 65 zone and Nuvi informed me that I was actually doing 74. Needless to say, I immediately reset my speed at 70 on my speedometer.

09-13-2007

Last Sunday night my son flew in from western Tennessee to spend a few days
with his sister and me. He couldn't stay very long so we packed as much
quality time as we could into our time together. The last time he and I
were together was last November. It had been much longer for him and his
sister. I returned him to the Norfolk airport late Tuesday afternoon and
he flew off to that faraway place in he calls home. My daughter and I
were sad to see him leave so soon, but he left promising we would see him
again before too long. Personally, I'm holding him to that promise.

I received a lot of feedback on my report of our Amish adventure last week.
A lot of you told me you have either, visited the Amish Country, or lived
amongst them for awhile. All of your stories were interesting and I was
amazed at the details in your recollections. The simplicity of the Amish
life, I believe, is what garners our attention. With all the gadgets and
hustle & bustle in our lives, we admire a culture that refuses to believe
that the winners in life are those that die with the most toys.
Occasionally, I write something in this missive that generates feedback. To
date, the biggest feedback by far has been the Amish thing. I appreciate
the time you take to read my ramblings. In return, I hope that I write
something of interest to you and, hopefully, give you a different
perspective on some things.

As most of you know, last Sunday was Grandparents day. Jerilyn has two
grandsons by a previous marriage and I have three granddaughters and two
great granddaughters by a previous marriage. Her grandsons live locally and
my granddaughters live in faraway places in Tennessee. Jerilyn's oldest
grandson, Christopher, came over to see his Grandmother on Sunday and
brought her a gift and a card (his younger brother, Brandon, was sick).
And, to my surprise, I was included in their celebration of Grandparents
Day. I was included in their card and presented with a gift. I was
honored that they chose to include me. I hope Christopher left knowing the
inclusion was appreciated. Sometimes, when families are united because a
divorced parent remarries, special occasions can be a little tense.
Christopher and Brandon solved that problem so easily. We older folks
should be so wise.

My next door neighbor, John, is a fellow retiree and really nice guy.
Occasionally, during the course of a week, we have the opportunity to meet
on that small strip of grass separating our homes. Many years ago, women
were often shown gossiping over the clothesline. Well, John and I are able
to resolve personal and world problems standing on that little grassy knoll.
Jerilyn and I spend a lot of time together, but, there are times when it is
good to have a man to man conversation. Men like to talk about fixing
things, cars, tools, sports, finance and such. Women, in my humble opinion,
strongly dislike those subjects and avoid them like the plague. John
definitely fills a vacuum in my daily existence. Sometimes, he and his
wife leave on vacation for several weeks. When they return, the
conversations on the grassy knoll get longer for a week or so.

I have a very special uncle back home (Claude) that leaves his house each
morning, goes to the local restaurant for breakfast with his buddies, then
leaves there and walks over to the barbershop to read the newspaper and
converse with the barber and his customers. Uncle Claude knows the value
of having a network of friends in his daily life. I wonder how many of us
spend the day watching TV, listening to the radio, or doing chores, and fail
to create a network of friends to spend time with. In my opinion, a good
conversation with a friend is better than any TV show. Many times we feel
alone, missing out on the joys of life. I believe some variation of Uncle
Claude's daily schedule is a good template for all of us. Unfortunately,
my barber is female. I just blew the heck out of that theory!

I hope you're enjoying your summer, or whatever season it is in
your part of the world

09-19-2007

Things in my personal life have really started to change. My son Rusty, who resides in western Tennessee, called today to tell me that he has accepted a job working for a company that is about 20 minutes from our house. He left this area in 1992 and, needless to say, it is a joy to welcome him back. My daughter Debby has always been within a 15-20 minute drive, so having them both so close contributes a lot of joy to my life. I’m sure he will find that I have changed a lot in the 15 years since he left. I hope the changes he sees are all good ones. I was 51 when he left. I’m 66 now. I’m sure he will notice a difference in me. Welcome home Son!

Old cars were the subject a good friend and I had recently. We were discussing the different kinds of cars in our neighborhood when we were kids. There was the Packard, Kaiser, Frasier, Willy’s, Hudson, etc. I have owned 12 automobiles in my life. Throw out the first 18 years of my existence (not many kids had cars back then) and I have purchased a vehicle every 4 years. That tidbit of information astonished me! I guess, if you factor into the equation that most of the time I owned two cars simultaneously, then I purchased a vehicle every 8 years. Now, that makes me feel so much better. I often wonder why I can remember every vehicle I have owned, but have trouble remembering the year that important events occurred. I was out working in the yard the other evening and the street lights came on. All of a sudden, I remembered that when I was a boy, we didn’t have street lights. When it got dark, it was dark. I honestly believe that if I could flush out all the useless information I have stored in my brain I could get on to some serious thinking. Ah, but the joy of instant recall!

We have a flag holder down at our pier and we attempt to keep one mounted that pertains to the season we are anticipating. Our current flag says “Welcome Autumn”. It seems, our hot weather is over and our temps are now in the 60’s and 70’s, with next week in the low 80’s. Our summer was hot and dry. Our grass wilted and died under the blistering sun. Jerilyn and I have spent the last few days, thatching, aerating, fertilizing and seeding our yard, getting it ready for next spring. The thatching part is accomplished by using a special “thatching” rake. After the first day of raking I awoke the next morning with soreness all thru my body. I had used muscles that had been dormant for so long they wanted to punish me. The next day I went thru the same routine and the soreness is not so bad now. As I rake and work the yard I listen to my audio books. Currently, I am listening to Adriana Trigiani’s “Home to Big Stone Gap”. Big Stone Gap is not very far from where I was raised. A lot of the places in her book I have visited. It is so nice to hear a tale wrapped around places you have been. She talks about the food hillbillies eat, such as “soup beans”, and gives the recipe for each. I’ll tell you, the Net Library I told you about in a previous WOW has been precious gift to me: no more trips to the library.

Jerilyn and I went to her youngest grandson’s (Brandon) football game the other day. He was not the star of the team, but he was our star. We hooted and yelled whenever he entered the game and applauded loudly when he came out, to let him know we appreciated his efforts. I think participation in a sport is good for all children. The feedback is immediate. If you practice hard and often, you will do well. Results are directly related to effort. Some can excel with very little effort, but 90% of us have to work hard in order to be successful. The sooner we learn that lesson, the better our chance of achieving our dreams. Each week I try to visit my uncle that is fighting cancer. Each time, as I exit I64 to get on the street that leads to his home, I encounter the same person standing at the stop sign holding a banner asking for a handout. This fellow, in my opinion, failed at some point in his life, to realize that begging cannot be a career. When did he conclude that he could exist by writing a few choice words on a piece of cardboard and stand at a stop sign, when the rest of us have to get up and go to work? You would be surprised at how many people call him over and give him money. Put him in a wheelchair and, maybe, I will give him something! Until then, spend the time you waste standing at the stop sign looking for a job. I see “Need Help” signs everywhere. I read once that “bitterness is just years of pent-up anger”. And here I set, thinking I am anger free